Blog Archives

Hobbit: Peter Jackson: What I’m saying is, if we bang in a bit of Queen Alien, bit of The Thing, bit of Predator and stuff, it will be the greatest film of all time. More stuff equals more good things. … Continue reading

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This Mariah Carey album tracklisting’s a bit odd. 1. Purple Shirters. 2. Gazing Anus, sheep choir.3. Testicle on the vestibule.4. Lining up for the vomit circus.5. Steve’s Beetles.6. Almanac of Crust.7. That’s the last time I bake a shit for … Continue reading

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Birth Defects

“It was nine months ago I received the joyful news from my wife; a baby on the way! She was pregnant, after so many years of trying. I wept happy tears, we talked and talked, long into the night about … Continue reading

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Due to extended traffic, there are more of you reading than ever before, largely thanks to the lovely Jim Sterling posting a tweet of one of them. Hello. I had a dream last night that I nearly married a cat. … Continue reading

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CRANE

INT: Studio. Frasier: So, that, Margaret is why your marriage is doomed. Get the fuck out of it. Margaret: Bu.. Frasier: ANYWAY! FUCK IT PLENTY! ROZ! ROZ! Who’s our next caller? Roz: We have no callers. Frasier: FUCKIN’ JERKOFFS. Why … Continue reading

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Sex is a fun th…

Sex is a fun thing to do. It’s like a present from nature, isn’t it? It’s like saying “Here you go, life may be a grey, sickly trudge most of the time, but you can do this. It’s brilliant. You’re … Continue reading

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“Naughty wench…

“Naughty wench, wring out my spunk sponge and take the plunge. Harvest me as you would a gigantic field of shags. A boundless ocean of chuckling boning, a void of fuckery. Christ, the sight of your shitting tits makes me … Continue reading

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