Category Archives: Uncategorized

The gigs of the future – Ed Sheeran

The gigs of the future. “2023. 80,000 turned up to literally watch Ed Sheeran shit into a bucket. The entire set conisted soley of the singer dropping his trousers, squatting, and blasting feces into a bucket. Over, and over, continually … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Talkin’ shit with the GP

I went to the GP today to get some cheerpills. Mental thrillness capsules. I also got a tub to shit in. I think it’s for tests. I hope it’s for tests. I sniggered in the waiting room, imagining the receptionist … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Peter Jackson’s proper norsed it up again.

Peter Jackson: G’day sports! Come to congratulate me on the brilliant Hobbit films that I done with  my two bare hands? Accountant: Actually, no. There’s been a…..er…problem. Peter: Strewth! Alright, spit it out, money boy. My sacks are over-due for … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Radio Slimes.

I’m not a fan of radio. Anyone will tell yer! They’ll say….”Phyllis, he doesn’t like the radio”, pointing in my direction and jabbing to make the point stick. I’ll nod, pull up a chair, and sit on it backwards, telling … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

My Olympic Ideas

Also got some Olympic event ideas, since you’re asking. YOU WERE ASKING. 1. Dog-Head 100m. Contestants have to run 100m while wearing incredibly heavy, wet clothes. The piece of the resistance is the addition of a full sized German Shepard, … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Titanic: Jack’s Drawings.

“Jack, I want you to draw me like one of your French girls.”   “Alright. ” LATER “This alright?” “What the fuck is this?”   “It’s a man wanking on a top hat.”    

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Zoomeister’s Retro games Review.

It’s hard to believe now, but in 1978, there weren’t many skydiver games on the market. Today, of course, it’s the most popular genre; up there with snake freezing, bus missing, stranger strangling, pushing against crushing walls simulators, the Legend … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment