Zoomeister’s Retro games Review.

It’s hard to believe now, but in 1978, there weren’t many skydiver games on the market. Today, of course, it’s the most popular genre; up there with snake freezing, bus missing, stranger strangling, pushing against crushing walls simulators, the Legend of Artichoke games, and the obvious market leader; Sock or Hat?

All of this lying about video game history leads us to another of my childhood games. It’s Mr Wong’s Loopy Laun….oh, no, it’s Skydiver. We’ll be doing that nonsense another time.

Sometime in the eighties, my father hurled a bright blue Atari box onto the table.

“Here is a video game. Play it. Learn it. Use the knowledge you gain. Become the skydiver. Be the skydiver. One day it will be your job. To jump from a plane in a two-dimensional world and endure painful accidents as you perfect the art, of opening a  parachute from a ridiculously low height.”

sky.jpg

 

Of course, the game was Skydiver, an incredibly realistic depiction of the er….art of jumping from a plane. Sometimes onto platforms. Sometimes onto moving platforms. Sometimes just to die.

There isn’t much to say about it, really. It says five games in one, but it’s just five variations, like most Atari games. Lies. But it is fun. The sort of fun that ends with crying and lying faced down, screaming into the floor. But the blue, the eternal blue, the bright blue box.

That was all that mattered.

 

sky2

God, the eighties were fucking depressing.

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About neilstilwell

Abseiling into trouble, a sewer rat staring at the stars. Disgusting. You can assist my search for the one ring by buying a Kindle version of this diary from here. http://www.amazon.co.uk/frozen-fridge-Zoomeister-Diaries-ebook/dp/B00C426DD0/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366481719&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=a+frozen+turd+in+a+hot+frudge It has some other stuff in it, and a dreadful cover.
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