Bad Sex

“Your sexual skills are workmanlike. By that I mean you’re like a complete tool, using your tool, like a fucking tool. You move like a bus on a trampoline. Your tongue feels like damp sandpaper on my clitoris. You may as well be tossing buttons into a pot you fucking useless cunt. Get out of my vagina.

Your hands are everywhere, but they’re slimy as fuck. You’re like a dead octopus draped over a hedge. Honestly, I’ve had better orgasms sitting in a bus stop with a corpse.”

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About neilstilwell

Abseiling into trouble, a sewer rat staring at the stars. Disgusting. You can assist my search for the one ring by buying a Kindle version of this diary from here. http://www.amazon.co.uk/frozen-fridge-Zoomeister-Diaries-ebook/dp/B00C426DD0/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366481719&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=a+frozen+turd+in+a+hot+frudge It has some other stuff in it, and a dreadful cover.
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