Monthly Archives: May 2015

BIRTH-TAIN’S Got Talent.

Britain’s Got Talent truly terrifies. They’ve got this act on now. It’s just a woman giving birth. The whole thing. She’s got a massive megaphone attached to a microphone to amplify the screams. Plus a camera positioned fourteen centimetres from … Continue reading

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Non-existent Girlfriend.

“Hello Neil.” “Hello my effervescent soul-mate. Would you like to join me in a wafer thin slice of ham? Perhaps a fragile biscuit deftly dipped in a sensual cup of tea? I’ve got a knock-off Raccoons dvd with our names … Continue reading

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The Canterbury Tales.

Avast ye maties, it is another day fighting tooth and nail through the scourge of Monday. A tree falls in the wood, and all the villagers are there to hear it. A sound system is set up to record the … Continue reading

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Coming of Age.

Some time ago I wrote of the laws I thought it would be amusing to introduce. One of them was a truly grisly coming of age thing. Upon reaching the age of eighteen, a teenager is shown a gruesome video … Continue reading

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