XBOX 3000

Dear Micros Foot.

My name is Neil Stilwell. I am a 38 year old boy from Canterbury in the United Kingdom. I like video games, they are my favourite thing, in between kissing all the girls and eating Refreshers. Sometimes I do Refreshers during a kissing for a banging sherbert snog.

Anyway, being as I am a man who plays on games I have loads of experience in consolations, and what they look like. I’ve seen a lot of them, from the Atreus 2000, all the way to the IBM funstation.

I never had an XBOX, but I feel like I have the necessary acumen to design you a brilliant games machine to do games on on the net or on the arcades. Here it is…

Presenting your new seller!


Good isn’t it? It’s got a distinctive, modern shape. The controller is attached to the bottom “gamesack” by an umbilical, and I done a mouth in it so you can shout instructions directly into it. Also, it can shout at you really loudly, to remind you to record Morse or Doctor Hoo with Mr Capaldi in it.

The “crown”, as I like to call it, presents a smooth dome, perfect to run a hand over to turn it on so you can enjoy the explosive games. Finally, the disc tray is a uniform red slit, designed for ease of seeing it.

Please make it and give me a few pounds.


About neilstilwell

Abseiling into trouble, a sewer rat staring at the stars. Disgusting. You can assist my search for the one ring by buying a Kindle version of this diary from here. It has some other stuff in it, and a dreadful cover.
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