INT: Frasier’s apartment.

Frasier: DAD YOU CUNT.

Martin: What is it son?

Frasier: Make yourself scarce you grey cadaver. I’ve got a bag of massive tomatoes I intend to eat whole. It’s going to be fucking messy as. I don’t want you around cramping my style.

Martin: What happened to you Frasier? You used to be different. You used to be brainy and pretentious. Now look at you.

Frasier: What?

Martin: You’re eating tomatoes whole with a beekeeper’s mask on. You don’t think there’s anything strange about that?

Frasier: No. In fact, I use it to keep bees INSIDE. They’re stinging the cock off my face as we speak. Keeps my forehead fucking massive.

Martin: Why? Why would you do that?

Frasier: To get a fuck-off massive forehead you shambling wank. In fact I have injected shitloads of botox into my head.

Martin: I know. Your head is top heavy. You keep banging it into things and knocking stuff off tables.

Frasier: I’m sick of this. I’ve got to go and push a boiled egg through Roz’s fucking letterbox you cock stiffer.


About neilstilwell

Abseiling into trouble, a sewer rat staring at the stars. Disgusting. You can assist my search for the one ring by buying a Kindle version of this diary from here. It has some other stuff in it, and a dreadful cover.
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