EPISODE NAME: CRANIAL TRAUMA
INT: Frasier’s apartment.
Frasier: DAD YOU CUNT.
Martin: What is it son?
Frasier: Make yourself scarce you grey cadaver. I’ve got a bag of massive tomatoes I intend to eat whole. It’s going to be fucking messy as. I don’t want you around cramping my style.
Martin: What happened to you Frasier? You used to be different. You used to be brainy and pretentious. Now look at you.
Martin: You’re eating tomatoes whole with a beekeeper’s mask on. You don’t think there’s anything strange about that?
Frasier: No. In fact, I use it to keep bees INSIDE. They’re stinging the cock off my face as we speak. Keeps my forehead fucking massive.
Martin: Why? Why would you do that?
Frasier: To get a fuck-off massive forehead you shambling wank. In fact I have injected shitloads of botox into my head.
Martin: I know. Your head is top heavy. You keep banging it into things and knocking stuff off tables.
Frasier: I’m sick of this. I’ve got to go and push a boiled egg through Roz’s fucking letterbox you cock stiffer.