Kitchen Nightmares.

This episode of Kitchen Nightmares is awesome. Check out Gordon Ramsay’s brilliant rant from it.


“This place is a fucking barn of balls. For a start, calling it “Membrane Parlour” is a fucking mistake. What kind of a name is that? Hardly inspires confidence does it? I walked in, the place looks like a gigantic nuked cunt for God’s sake. What did you paint it with? A dog’s cock dipped in emulsion? Looks like a cyclops wanked on the walls. Look at this! The menu’s been written by a child with no legs. The food looks like it was designed by a bag of false widow spiders, you monolithic shit burgers.

As for the cunting food; I don’t know where to start, I feel like a drunk man at a funeral he’s not invited to. I should just shit my stack and have a fucking heart attack! The meatballs look like a zombie’s bollocks. The chips look like they were made by hacking the legs of an old deckchair. As for the fucking steaks, it looks like Herman Munster’s head fried in a wok, you total fucking urchin poisoning cunts.

Fuck off.


About neilstilwell

Abseiling into trouble, a sewer rat staring at the stars. Disgusting. You can assist my search for the one ring by buying a Kindle version of this diary from here. It has some other stuff in it, and a dreadful cover.
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