Elrond: So, basically, what I’m saying is, that ring is evil.
Gandalf: I told you that. I’ve told him that *Motions to Frodo*, I’ve told all of these pricks that. *Mimes a headbutt in the direction of the counsel.*
Elrond: Alright. What was I …er..
Gandalf: Let me see. Is this your minutes?
Elrond: Yep. Don’t look at th..
Gandalf: This is just a drawing of you with a massive penis. Having seen it, I can say this is largely fiction.
Elrond: No don’t!
Gandalf: RIGHT. Everybody. We can talk about Elrond’s shit penis drawing or we can sort this out. Left to right. GIMLI!
Gimli: Could give it a whack with me hammer.
Gandalf: Right. SO…having already been told the ring is indestructible….you’re going to hammer it yeah?
Gimli: I’ll put me back into it. Maybe it’s like Terminator. They thought you couldn’t kill it, but they did it in a vice. I think I’ve got a vice back at me house.
Gandalf: What the fuck is Terminator?
Elrond: 80s sci-fi. You know Conan?
Elrond: He played the Terminator.
Gandalf: What book was that in then?
Elrond: It wa….er..what?
Gandalf: What BOOK?
Elrond: E.r…….it was….on a film…er..
Gandalf: Alright, what’s that then?
Elrond:……..I don’t know.
Gandalf: DEAR DIARY. RING IS FUCKING DANGEROUS. Can’t be destroyed by many means at all. Got a collection together of people to sort it. MASSIVE BUNCH OF CUNTS. (While saying cunts, Gandalf swings a staff in an arc to point at all the present people.)
Frodo: Bilbo says Terminator 2 is good.
Gandalf: Ah for FUCK SAKE.