Lord of the Rings.

Theodens: Aragorn. I’ve spoken to the riders of Rohan. They’re willing to help, obviously, but we’ve got a bit of a problem.

Aragorn: What, you got Grimer’s fist up your arse again, yeah?

Theodeon: No! No. What I mean is, we might be short a few numbers. Turns out a lot of our horses got put in Tesco burgers.

Aragorn: Shit. What have we got then?

(Both look down cliff)

Aragorn: Fourteen horses. A man in a donkey costume. A pantomime donkey. A rocking hor…this is fucking bullshit!

Theodeon: Yeah, well, I said things would be a bit dodgy. Was thinking we can use the donkey to distract the orcs and pile in with the real horses.

Aragorn: You do know how many they’ve got don’t yer?

Thedeon: Trying not to really. I thought I’d sort of forget about that until it was too late.

Aragorn: Well what else can we do?

Theoden: As luck would have it, check that scary crack out.

Aragorn: Didn’t know Sarah Palin was in town.

Theodon: No. That.

(Aragorn looks down a crack in the mountain. Some scary shit wind comes out of it.)

Theoden: You alright with that? I’ll see you when you’re done yeah?

Aragorn: You want me to go down that? Is it on Google Maps?

Theoden: Of course it fucking isn’t.

 

Advertisements

About neilstilwell

Abseiling into trouble, a sewer rat staring at the stars. Disgusting. You can assist my search for the one ring by buying a Kindle version of this diary from here. http://www.amazon.co.uk/frozen-fridge-Zoomeister-Diaries-ebook/dp/B00C426DD0/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366481719&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=a+frozen+turd+in+a+hot+frudge It has some other stuff in it, and a dreadful cover.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s