Old Gary Barlos.

Good old Gary Barlos.

In some ways my life truly ended with the release of Take That’s cover of Could it be Magic in 1993. One thing is true, it’s not written by old Gary Barlos, the John Lennons of 1993 to 2013.

Of course, Take That truly changed music with Gary Barlow’s incredible lyrics. Lyrics like this, from Back for Good.

“I’m back for good, with my stench of rancid balls, my rotting stick, my bile and sick, I’m back for good, smearing shit all over, the corpse of the fruit seller, my disgust and mistrust are a palpable spunk crust.”

Harsh words from the Barlos there. Take That hit the heights again and again, with hit after stunning hit of shit. With the scatalogical staging of many videos, manure took off. Horses were back in business. Teenage girls were seen gulping down Gary’s lumps of shit. He’d sell them at concerts.

Here’s Gary Barlos in 1994, talking shit.

“‘ey oop am Gaz Barloses. I love shit. Take That were influenced soley by shit. Especially, real stinking shit.”

Disgusting and erotic. Here’s some more genius from the Take That homunculus.

Pray:

“I pray for shit, your sins and sick, my dick is a prick.”

Babe:

“Babe, your auburn hair compliments my auburn blast.”

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