Due to extended traffic, there are more of you reading than ever before, largely thanks to the lovely Jim Sterling posting a tweet of one of them.
Hello. I had a dream last night that I nearly married a cat. It didn’t happen in the end, due to paper-work. Probably a good thing I didn’t let her get her claws in. Also dreamed that the cast of Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps were being put on trial and subsequently hanged, which struck me as a bit fucking excellent. Thanks to my brain for a good dream!
Look at my book. It is for Kindle devices and related apps. It’s cheap, short, and is very badly made. Unlike the actual blog. The blog is free and longer. You take yer choices. Difference is you get to read it in a nice font and there are pictures you can show your friends and say things like “Look at this. The guy must be a fucking mental or something.” while you chortle through your fucking panini, you modern stupid cunts.
Insulting you being my only commercial strength, here’s a link. I also do poetry books, but you won’t want to wank to that.
Right now FUCK OFF.
And oh no! It’s Twitter! Like this but a rolling news feed. Of me! Of me doing some awful jokes every day.
And also, a truly dismal Facebook page full of pictures your kids won’t want to leave behind when they fuck off and leave YOU with debt.