Bum Erection

If you vote for me, I will confine One Direction to only two subjects for their lyrics. Bowel funtions and sexual dysfunction. Here’s an example.

“Girl, this morning I excreted feces from my anus. I sat down on the toilet bowl, with my pants around my ankles, staring ahead like a depressed cow at a funeral, tightening my face into a frown as I pushed a brown, cigar shaped stool through my bumhole, and winced as it impacted the water, splashing a buttock slightly.

I also deeply apologise for my lack of sexual expertise, girl. It’s never happened to me before. Actually, it has. I’ve long suffered with a lack of potency, sexually. The lack of blood flowing to my penis prevented me from maintaining an erection. “

Would be great. Petition the government. YOU CAN CHANGE THINGS!


About neilstilwell

Abseiling into trouble, a sewer rat staring at the stars. Disgusting. You can assist my search for the one ring by buying a Kindle version of this diary from here. http://www.amazon.co.uk/frozen-fridge-Zoomeister-Diaries-ebook/dp/B00C426DD0/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366481719&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=a+frozen+turd+in+a+hot+frudge It has some other stuff in it, and a dreadful cover.
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