Annoying my non-existent girlfriend.

“Neil? What are you doing, darling?”

“I’m wrapping this balloon for the cat.”

“……..WHY?”

“Cats like balloons.”

“….fine. Er..I’m going to have a cup of tea…want o..”

“I GOT YOU A PRESENT TODAY!”

“er….okay.”

“It’s over there. You know right, how you said you always wanted Golden Girls on DVD?”

“Love that show…yeah..yeah. Wait….you got me that?”

“…might have.”

“Oh you lovely man! *Kiss*. I’m well watching this…*Opens present* wait….er…oh..”

“What? Season one! Always start with the best!”

“Neil what the FUCK is this?”

“Eh?”

“THIS YOU PRICK?”

OH NO

“It’s season one of the Golden Girls…erm..”

“No it fucking isn’t. All you’ve done is done another terrible mock up and slid it into a dvd case..an EMPTY DVD CASE!”

“Thought you’d be pleased with i…”

“Look at it! How the hell did you think I’d be fooled! How long did this take you to make?”

“I got it from HMV…”

“HOW LONG?”

“About twenty minutes.”

“TWENTY MINUTES. Look at the STATE OF IT. I’m going to bed. Take this piece of shit, and ram it in your bollocks, you cunt.”

Advertisements

About neilstilwell

Abseiling into trouble, a sewer rat staring at the stars. Disgusting. You can assist my search for the one ring by buying a Kindle version of this diary from here. http://www.amazon.co.uk/frozen-fridge-Zoomeister-Diaries-ebook/dp/B00C426DD0/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366481719&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=a+frozen+turd+in+a+hot+frudge It has some other stuff in it, and a dreadful cover.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s