Monthly Archives: December 2012

Radagast is a prick.

The Hobbit. INT: Rivendell. Elrond: Well, I dunno Gander. Saruman might have a point. Can’t be doing owt with stuff unless there’s proof. All you’re saying is there’s a dark shadow, non-specific shit. No concrete evidence. It is December, it … Continue reading

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Peter Jackson’s HOBBIT

“Peter! PETER YOU FUCKING PRICK!” “How’s it going?” “How’s it goin….HOW’S IT GOING? Look at this….” “Ooh, the posters for my fllm. Look at Martin, doesn’t he look JUST like a hobbit.” “FUCK’S SAKE. THAT.” “HOBBIT: An UnEGGspected journey.” “……..” … Continue reading

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Promethsnowman.

  Just imagined a crossover between The Snowman and Prometheus.   Here’s Ridley Scott: “We wanted to say to people who watched SNOWMALIEN, who was the snowman in that seat with the hole in its chest? Where was he made? … Continue reading

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Annoying my non-existent girlfriend.

“Neil? What are you doing, darling?” “I’m wrapping this balloon for the cat.” “……..WHY?” “Cats like balloons.” “….fine. Er..I’m going to have a cup of tea…want o..” “I GOT YOU A PRESENT TODAY!” “er….okay.” “It’s over there. You know right, … Continue reading

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An enchanting Christmas tale.

“Greys and reds in a sea of tepid baubles. Santa’s beard stained with the urine of death, the inevitability of his own demise. His presents, tossed blithely into his dingy brown sack barely totalled 32. Hardly enough for a world … Continue reading

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The Christmas Zoomeister Panto: Titanic.

Yes, it’s my stage play. Without a stage, actors, or jokes, or an audience. Or laughs. Or fun. Christmas Play. Titanic. Part Two INT: Boat. Brock: Cheers for that, everybody. Let’s all pre-emptively celebrate before actually confirming the medallion is … Continue reading

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