Underwhelming sex line.

Here is a terrible sex phone line.

“I am wearing a vest, and some cheap boxers. I am sitting in my bed, watching a video of a comedian telling unfunny jokes. I am flaccid. I am thinking of you consuming a weak cup of camomile tea, though I suppose the point of it is that it is merely a hint, rather than a strongly flavoured tea, thus is its light and comforting nature.

My testicles are mildly wrinkled from the day’s exertions. My penis lies like a deflated balloon animal, unloved, unmoving, almost at the point of death, like the freshly savaged weak-point of a video game boss. I now imagine you unbuttoning a button on your blouse’s sleeve and raising a hand to cover your mouth, as you cough. It is rather grey outside. You are not aroused, and we, we are oblivious to our deaths.”

Hot stuff!


About neilstilwell

Abseiling into trouble, a sewer rat staring at the stars. Disgusting. You can assist my search for the one ring by buying a Kindle version of this diary from here. http://www.amazon.co.uk/frozen-fridge-Zoomeister-Diaries-ebook/dp/B00C426DD0/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366481719&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=a+frozen+turd+in+a+hot+frudge It has some other stuff in it, and a dreadful cover.
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