Underwhelming sex line.

Here is a terrible sex phone line.

“I am wearing a vest, and some cheap boxers. I am sitting in my bed, watching a video of a comedian telling unfunny jokes. I am flaccid. I am thinking of you consuming a weak cup of camomile tea, though I suppose the point of it is that it is merely a hint, rather than a strongly flavoured tea, thus is its light and comforting nature.

My testicles are mildly wrinkled from the day’s exertions. My penis lies like a deflated balloon animal, unloved, unmoving, almost at the point of death, like the freshly savaged weak-point of a video game boss. I now imagine you unbuttoning a button on your blouse’s sleeve and raising a hand to cover your mouth, as you cough. It is rather grey outside. You are not aroused, and we, we are oblivious to our deaths.”

Hot stuff!

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About neilstilwell

Abseiling into trouble, a sewer rat staring at the stars. Disgusting. You can assist my search for the one ring by buying a Kindle version of this diary from here. http://www.amazon.co.uk/frozen-fridge-Zoomeister-Diaries-ebook/dp/B00C426DD0/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366481719&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=a+frozen+turd+in+a+hot+frudge It has some other stuff in it, and a dreadful cover.
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