Only Fools and Horses.

INT: Flat.

Del: Rodney! Rodney you dipstick! Come ‘ere!

Rodney: What is it now, Del? Failed to sell fifty buckets of dog’s heads, eh? Trying to flog burned plastic dolls? We’re skint, Del. Skint.

Del: Not any more, son! Read ’em and weep!

Rodney: Tax refund. Three thousand pounds. We can pay the rent.

Del: Yep, and go out for a nice slap up meal and all. Cushdy!

Rodney: We might be alright, Del. We just might be alright.

Del: Yes. Finally we can live again. This time next year we’ll be…

Television: A state of emergency has been called as nuclear missiles are launched at the United Kingdom. Three minutes until arrival. People are advised to seek shelter immediately.

Del: What? Oh FUCKING HELL!

Rodney: ARRRRRRGH! WE’RE FUCKING DEAD!

Del: OH GOD! OH GOD! GET UNDER A BED RODDERS! ANYTHING! JESUS!

Rodney: WHIMPER. SOB.

Del: THIS TIME IN THREE MINUTES WE’LL BE FUCKING DEAD! OH JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!

(Fades to black, with no credits or audience laughter. BBC receives 50,000 complaints.)

Advertisements

About neilstilwell

Abseiling into trouble, a sewer rat staring at the stars. Disgusting. You can assist my search for the one ring by buying a Kindle version of this diary from here. http://www.amazon.co.uk/frozen-fridge-Zoomeister-Diaries-ebook/dp/B00C426DD0/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366481719&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=a+frozen+turd+in+a+hot+frudge It has some other stuff in it, and a dreadful cover.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s