Retro Game Reviews: Dizzy.

I’m going to do a weekly review of one of the games that I used to play back in the eighties, when I was a friendless lump of dead socks and eyes. My mottled, depressed carcus gazes back like an old teacher to the times when girls had hair like clouds, Demon Thatcher ruled the old mountain in the East, and sweets were all made of my dreams.

This one’s called Dizzy. Dizzy was a franchise in the eighties created by er….some blokes called the Oliver Twins. Cracking home coders, they created an anthropomorphised egg who goes on adventures in a dark, eerie world. His aim: To kill an evil wizard by negotiating traps and shit.


Problem with Dizzy was that he could only hold one item. This meant you had to trek back and forth, picking up one item, removing certain obstacles, and then returning to get another item and so forth. It was like having a fucking job doing removals. I spent many a childhood day blinking through rageful tears, my efforts strewn with pity, pity for myself, pity for the egg. As mushroom clouds grew outside my window, I paid little attention to the coming nuclear winds, as I shat myself in frustration at my thirty third death due to a fucking falling apple.

It’s great though. NINE THOUSAND OUT OF TEN.

Spectrum 48k games. Depression, cold war, 8 bit eggs. It’s all good.


About neilstilwell

Abseiling into trouble, a sewer rat staring at the stars. Disgusting. You can assist my search for the one ring by buying a Kindle version of this diary from here. It has some other stuff in it, and a dreadful cover.
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