INT: Monica’s Flat:

Monica: Here’s the tree guys!

Ross: Hey!

Racheal: Hey..

Phoebe: Hey

Chandler: Hey

Joey: Hey

Monica: Ok, wouldya quit it with the heys, you guys?

Chandler: No…because. If. We. Did…..we would lose half the script!

Monica: Put a bauble in it, fuckwad

Chandler: (Muffled) HEY!

Monica: I got these, aren’t they great? Spectacular fucking baubles…seventy for a dollar!

Ross: Like, Monica….this bauble has my monkey’s face on them, WHY IS MARCEL’S FUCKING FACE ON THIS BAUBLE? In fact…..this is actually MARCEL’S HEAD!

Monica: I knew you’d like it…i know you missed him when he left…so i had him killed, and decapitated, so i could decorate the tree with his tiny face….you need never miss him again! Until Christmas is over…

Ross: Gibber….

Phoebe: Ross is foaming…he’s FOAMING

Chandler: Great……no need to buy fake snow for the windows this year….

(Riotous laughter, as Ross collapses face down onto the floor, and his muffled screams of crying anguish are heard)

Joey: HEY! Merry Christmas everybody!


About neilstilwell

Abseiling into trouble, a sewer rat staring at the stars. Disgusting. You can assist my search for the one ring by buying a Kindle version of this diary from here. It has some other stuff in it, and a dreadful cover.
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