INT: Monica’s Flat:
Monica: Here’s the tree guys!
Monica: Ok, wouldya quit it with the heys, you guys?
Chandler: No…because. If. We. Did…..we would lose half the script!
Monica: Put a bauble in it, fuckwad
Chandler: (Muffled) HEY!
Monica: I got these, aren’t they great? Spectacular fucking baubles…seventy for a dollar!
Ross: Like, Monica….this bauble has my monkey’s face on them, WHY IS MARCEL’S FUCKING FACE ON THIS BAUBLE? In fact…..this is actually MARCEL’S HEAD!
Monica: I knew you’d like it…i know you missed him when he left…so i had him killed, and decapitated, so i could decorate the tree with his tiny face….you need never miss him again! Until Christmas is over…
Phoebe: Ross is foaming…he’s FOAMING
Chandler: Great……no need to buy fake snow for the windows this year….
(Riotous laughter, as Ross collapses face down onto the floor, and his muffled screams of crying anguish are heard)
Joey: HEY! Merry Christmas everybody!