Frasier: That is why, Sandra, that your marriage is doomed.

Sandra (On phone) “But i’m not marri..

Frasier: Oh, go and be sick on a wig. I’m getting outta here. Got me a packet of crisps and a dog burger to stick the fuck in my mouth.

Roz: Er…Doctor Crane. We still have forty minutes of the show left.

Frasier: Play the best of Crane and put a fucking stick in my seat, Clitwars. I’m off to knock one out in a shop doorway.

Roz: Sigh.

Frasier: Yeah, alright Bulldog? How’s being a priapic cunt working out for you, eh?

Bulldog: Jeeze doc, you’re different these days.

Frasier: I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am as smart as a tree with tits. An afternoon drinking piss. Fuck off.

INT: Home.

Frasier: JESUS. Nice to be back, Jack, time to hit the sack and beat my cock off. By that I mean masturbate to pictures of sewage.

Martin: Hey Frase.

Frasier: Oh yes. You. Pater, how are you then? Still decomposing in your rancid chair? Where’s your shit dog then?

Martin: Eddie is piping a hot fecal coil out on your bed. I fed him duck pate. It’s going to stink.

Frasier: YOU GREY FUCK. (Frasier punches his groin and grits his teeth. His father looks ahead into nothing.)


About neilstilwell

Abseiling into trouble, a sewer rat staring at the stars. Disgusting. You can assist my search for the one ring by buying a Kindle version of this diary from here. It has some other stuff in it, and a dreadful cover.
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