Annoying my imaginary girlfriend.

“Hello, darling.”

“Hello Neil. What are you doing today? Got work?”

“No. I have been beavering away at some tweets. It is brilliant. I made some new pictu…”

“Really. What sort of pictures?”


“Not that mad crude shit you do on PSP again?”

“NO! Proper st….well, yes.”

“Jesus, Neil. After what happened with my mum and dad I thought you’d cut that shit out.”

“Funny you should say that…”

“Oh. Oh no. What have you done?”

“It’s alright. Honest. I’ve sorted your mum out. I made her this.”



“I sent it two days ago so it should be there now. Think she’ll be alright now? By the way, phone’s been ringing all day. I think it’s for you.”


About neilstilwell

Abseiling into trouble, a sewer rat staring at the stars. Disgusting. You can assist my search for the one ring by buying a Kindle version of this diary from here. It has some other stuff in it, and a dreadful cover.
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