I done gone and re-wrote a song.

I have added my own changes to titted pop mannequin Katy Perry’s Last Friday night. See if you can guess which fucking bits I wrote.

There’s a tobacco packet in my bed,
There’s a bee on my head
Feces all over the room
Dead wasps in the pool
I smell like a giant’s arse
Billy’s passed out in the yard
Got a worm trapped in my flue

There’s a man covered in piss
Pictures of last night
Ended up in an off licence
I’m screwed
Oh well
It’s a black top blur
But I’m pretty sure it ruled

Last Friday night
Went to a terrible nightclub
Sarah got drunk and began to blub
Because she fell on her bum

Last Friday night
Felt a quivering in my arse
Emptied my bowels between parked cars
Started seeing fucking stars

Last Friday night
Shitting myself in the park
wanking old men in the dark
Pissing on some tree bark
Last Friday night
Fell asleep in my own vomit
Lost control of my own shit
Whoa-oh-oah

This Friday night
Do it all again
This Friday night
Do it all again

Trying to connect the dots
Don’t know what to tell my boss
Think the bear towed my car
Piss and shit is on the floor
With my favorite bag of crisps
pickling the fuck out of my breasts
Thought I need a pint of snails
That was such an epic fail

Pictures of last night
Ended up online
I’m screwed
Oh well
It’s a blacked out blur
But I’m pretty sure it ruled

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About neilstilwell

Abseiling into trouble, a sewer rat staring at the stars. Disgusting. You can assist my search for the one ring by buying a Kindle version of this diary from here. http://www.amazon.co.uk/frozen-fridge-Zoomeister-Diaries-ebook/dp/B00C426DD0/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366481719&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=a+frozen+turd+in+a+hot+frudge It has some other stuff in it, and a dreadful cover.
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