Things to say to a lover, or potential lover.
“Yeah, I like it filthy, like an allotment. An allotment on Sunday. Yeah, put on your boots, because I am covered in mud. And shit. I am covered in mud and shit. Go on, plant one right in my soil, you gardening bitch. Grow me a potato, and i’ll fill it. I’ll fill your fucking potato, with my spunk. I literally will come inside your potato. If a potato means your vagina. Basically what I am doing is likening your reproductive organs to a potato. A good one, though. Not a shit small one, a whacking great King Edward. “