Talking dirty.

Things to say to a lover, or potential lover.

“Yeah, I like it filthy, like an allotment. An allotment on Sunday. Yeah, put on your boots, because I am covered in mud. And shit. I am covered in mud and shit. Go on, plant one right in my soil, you gardening bitch. Grow me a potato, and i’ll fill it. I’ll fill your fucking potato, with my spunk. I literally will come inside your potato. If a potato means your vagina. Basically what I am doing is likening your reproductive organs to a potato. A good one, though. Not a shit small one, a whacking great King Edward. “


About neilstilwell

Abseiling into trouble, a sewer rat staring at the stars. Disgusting. You can assist my search for the one ring by buying a Kindle version of this diary from here. It has some other stuff in it, and a dreadful cover.
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