Titanic part Three.

Hudson: This piece of paper has been underwater for a million years. That’s before you or I were even born..

Rose: That’s not Kate Winslet. That’s me. He’s a fucking idiot.

Hudson: Cheers.

Rose: Give me the phone.

INT: Boat

Hudson: Jesus…this is so boring.

Bloke: Oi, Brock…I mean Hudson..there’s a call for you.

Hudson: This better be important.

Bloke: Oh you wanna take this call..

Hudson: Cheers.

Bloke: You wanna speak up..she’s kinda old.

Hudson: Great. Hello.

Rose: Alright? I was just wondering if you’d found the heart of the ocean yet?

Hudson: Fuck. Alright, you have my attention Rose. Can you tell me who the woman in the picture is?

Rose: It’s me.

Hudson: No, it’s not. You’re a hundered years old. She’s 17. That’s a billion years difference obviously.

Rose: Fuck’s sake. What do you not understand about time and age, Mr Lovett?

Hudson: Name’s Hudson.

Rose: Whatever.

INT: Helicopter approaching boat. Old Rose stares out. Lands on deck. Meanwhile, Hudson and Beard are walking along.

Beard: Some nutcase seeking money or publicity, God only knows why..

Bloke: THEY’RE INBOUND!

Beard: Look, i’ve already done the background on this woman all the way back to the twenties. She was an actress back then. AN ACTRESS….There’s your first clue, Sherlock.

Hudson: Yeah, I know, she’s Kate Winslet.

Beard: She ISN’T KATE FUCKING WINSLET! She moves to some place, meets some bloke and then punches out o a couple of kids.

Hudson: Violent then..

Beard: Yeah…

Hudson: Anyway, she knows loads of stuff. Everybody who’s supposed to know about it is dead, which she knows!

Beard: What?

Hudson: Dunno. Let’s meet the old crone.

(Rose gets off the copter, in wheel chair and holding a dog. Luggage follows.

Hudson: Fuck.

Beard: Doesn’t exactly travel light, does she?

Hudson: You really are a fucking unfunny cunt, Beard. Get off my boat.

Advertisements

About neilstilwell

Abseiling into trouble, a sewer rat staring at the stars. Disgusting. You can assist my search for the one ring by buying a Kindle version of this diary from here. http://www.amazon.co.uk/frozen-fridge-Zoomeister-Diaries-ebook/dp/B00C426DD0/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366481719&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=a+frozen+turd+in+a+hot+frudge It has some other stuff in it, and a dreadful cover.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s