Frasier

INT: Studio

Frasier: And that’s why, Jim. if you’re having problems in the sack, then cut off an arm and stick it up your fuck!

Caller: Er…sorry, Doctor Crane?

Frasier: No need to be sorry, Riddle Pigskin. Now fuck off!

Caller: *Click*

Frasier: Well, that was an excellent show. I was fucking brilliant, yeah? YEAH? What do you think, shit skinner?

Roz: Are you talking to me?

Frasier: FUCKING YEAH! Who else is here, boulder holes? Want me to draw you a schematic, tit shitter?

Roz: You know, i’ve had just about enough of your insults. Ever since Daphne started drinking piss and your dad started to stink you’ve been acting real weird, Frasier.

Frasier: Oh, boogaloo FUCKIN’ MCGROO! Taste my shit and sick a brick, bitch! I’m goin’ for a beer!

———————————————–

INT: Bar:

Frasier: Oi mate. Pint of Grigio, yeah? Easy on the piss. Call me a buster, snaker!

Barman: Sorry?

Frasier: GRIGIO!

Barman: You mean a glass of Pinot Grigio?

Frasier: NO! A PINT OF WHITE WINE, BRUTUS! Jesus, you JUST OUTTA DETENTION SON? CHRIST ME A LEMON!

Barman: Here ya go.

Frasier: Thanks. Good wine. Nice and cloudy. Goddamned fuckin’ shirty, aintcha! Hand me a peanut, barman.

Martin: Hey, Frase. What are you doin’ here? This ain’t your kind of joint.

Frasier: No, this is my kind of joint! (Holds up an elbow) Sling yer hook, dad, you’re cramping my style.

Martin: What style? The style of drinking a pint of white wine?

Frasier: Hey, FUCK YOU MAN! What are you doing down here, anyway?

Martin: I got bored, stinking at home and sucking all that piss up. Daphne’s outside. She’s rolling down the pavement in a big tyre.

Frasier: Fuckin’ slags. Why don’t you people get the hell outta dodge, eh?

—————————————

INT: Home:

Frasier: I like this program, Billy shits the big one. Fucking awesome shit. I sure hope nobody disturbs me during this with some massive encroachment on my peace.

*BANNANANANANNANGG*

Frasier: FUCK’S SAKE!

(Opens the door, Niles is at the door, and is covered in shit)

Frasier: What the hell happened to you?

Niles: I made the mistake of taking a diarhettic on in a wrestling contest.

Niles: SHITTER!

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About neilstilwell

Abseiling into trouble, a sewer rat staring at the stars. Disgusting. You can assist my search for the one ring by buying a Kindle version of this diary from here. http://www.amazon.co.uk/frozen-fridge-Zoomeister-Diaries-ebook/dp/B00C426DD0/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366481719&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=a+frozen+turd+in+a+hot+frudge It has some other stuff in it, and a dreadful cover.
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