If you need to indulge in small talk. Here are some small things you can talk about.
Obviously, if you’re talking to a woman, the clitoris is the best thing because they have them. You could discuss it’s invention, it’s history, and the difficulty men have in finding it, apparently. Bring this subject up, unwarranted, and unexpectedly. For instance, if you are like me earlier, having a haircut performed by a female and she says this to you:
“So, I understand you worked in that pub.”
Reply, with the completely unrelated sentence following.
“The clitoris, eh? What’s that all about. Apparently it’s a penis that formed differently. I read about the clitoris. Do you have one? I don’t, because I am a man. Even Sarah Palin has a clitoris. But it’s probably rotting and covered in howling skulls.”